Fear of Change

We live in a world of duality. The physical and the spiritual worlds are the same. What is done in one is done in the other. Many preachers would separate the two, but they are really only one. We may choose to succeed or fail, be content or distraught. But the one constant in life is change, and the decisions we make when faced with change either move us forward or back, physically and spiritually. The consequences can be extreme, and because of this, people fear change.

Death physically, financially or emotionally causes sudden and final change. In this world of duality, we may choose either to give up or go on. Remaining in between these two choices only prolongs the agony, sometimes for years. I have been told, “A bad relationship is better than no relationship.” But does this not prevent a good relationship from happening? How many buckets of water can you pour into a bucket? The answer is obvious, but the process may not be so simply seen. First, a space or void must be created in order that the cosmos might find a solution and fill the void with something better. Staying in an unloving relationship for the sake of convenience will impede finding a loving one, and it will teach hatred. Truly it is that simple.

There is no in between, except for that temporary time of confusion and uncertainty that exists between the old and the new beliefs. Hard to leave behind, the old is familiar and comfortable. The new is yet to be experienced and is filled with trepidation, but, in time, it, too, will become part of your comfort zone. Just like the old beliefs that were once themselves new and viewed with the same uncertainty, they became part of your everyday truth and belief system. 

It is, therefore, natural that a degree of confusion exists until the uncertain “new” takes the place of the familiar “old.” All transitions in life go through this same process. I am not giving away any spiritual secrets when I say that, as we mature, we see these transitions, over and over again. One way to ensure proper change, to solve a recurring problem, is to act on the one solution you have been avoiding. This means you knew of the solution but ignored it, for one reason or another—usually because it was difficult to do. The reason that the problem keeps coming up in your life is because of improper handling of it before. The lesson needs to be learned, and the solution (which, as I’ve said, is usually difficult) must be acted upon, in order for the problem never to reappear or be experienced again. Although I dreaded doing something to solve a problem, I have found that after I did it, I wondered why I hadn’t acted in like manner to solve the situation before. These words helped me through those difficult and lonely times, and they may help you: “A successful person always does the things a failure is afraid to do.”

Never fear change. Indeed, it may be appropriate for you to pray for great change, in order to improve your life. One thing is for sure: you cannot lie to yourself. You may mask your feelings and hide your resentment, but, sooner or later, change will force you to deal with these hidden irritations. Time is the buffer between the old and the new. But memory invokes both the emotion, as well as the memory of the event. Fortunately, we learn from mistakes. Indeed, someone who is afraid to make mistakes is afraid to learn. The saying, “It is better to have tried and failed, than to have never tried at all” is partly correct. Added to this, one should say, “And try again, I will.” Changing this phrase to a positive, forceful, optimistic one can be done simply, by saying, “I will make the attempt,” instead of “I will try.” Attempting things means you will accomplish them. Trying means you will give it a good shot, but before you start, you have already decided you cannot succeed.

A wise man once told me that life is like a roller-coaster. It may go up, it may go down. It may thrill you, or it may terrify you. But if you get off early, you will fail. Hang on until the end of the ride. You may find it was worth it!

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